People always forget that Wolverine is Canadian.
THE EIGHTH DOCTOR - BEFORE AND AFTER
This is your life in the hands of Big Finish.
So we picked up our 1920s Cthulhu again, with our existing characters plus those brought on from our added group.
Greg got himself into a situation when he accidentally got himself invited to a teaching opportunity a crazy possessed school. IMMEDIATELY REGRETTED ACCEPTING, then went later that night to “learn the teaching methods” of the school, lost ten sanity points in one roll when the guy in charge lead him past some crazy possessed kid, and then when he finally decided NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT GONNA DO THIS and tried to leave, failed his Fast Talk—got grabbed, managed to muscle himself free, made a run for it, got grabbed AGAIN and had a back-and-forth POW roll thing going on where he was slowly being “talked into” accepting and following back.
One last roll, muscled himself free again NOPENOPENOPED and ran—and then was promptly kidnapped and thrown over the dude’s shoulder and carried off like a kidnapped princess, wherein he started screaming like a little girl until the rest of the party came to save him.
The saving didn’t go very well, but hey, we managed to make it out of the whole thing alive! We all lost like 20 sanity! Except for the one person in the party who passed out after nearly having all her limbs rended from her from demon children, so she missed out on a few more of the sanity-loss moments.
I lost enough Sanity to gain two more medium-level psychosis’. I’d already had Insomnia and just “Extreme Arrogance” from the last sessions; was gonna let the rest of my party decide/suggest what FUN NEW HORRIBLY CRIPPLING DISORDERS Greg should end up with.
Also he had to perform first-aid on the dying party-member, and I one “pfff I got dis” and threw my dice down. Got a 98. “PFF YEAH I GOT DIS.” Because my First-Aid’s 99. Party don’t doubt my Doctorin’ skills now.
Also Greg mostly behaved and only got decked ONCE by another party member this time around. Improvement! Even after he called the lady in the party Suffragist BiiihVERY PLEASANT LADY. Twice.
It seemed imperative that I collect together my dumb headcanons so far. All involving the Roller Bandito faction of Step City.
- Shipping Wars/The SIMs
Banditos are the shippers of Step City. As we know, they tend to stick their noses where they shouldn’t, but Banditos don’t give a damn. They snoop, they spy, and they ship you behind your back. Sometimes with your spouse, sometimes they don’t approve of your spouse. They also sometimes… uh. Get involved. Usually only with Squares, as they’re the easiest to manipulate. By this point, most Squares (at least the jamdeaf ones) have gotten used to being kidnapped by a Bandito mid-conversation and promptly set up with a complete stranger.
Somewhere, most likely on an unused roof or abandoned building, is a Ship War Board. Bets are often placed on who will end up with whom. Rumour has it a code-savvy Bandito also has an App in the works. There are several ShipBooky Banditos you can contact to place bets through.
- Old Maid Pickpocket
This is a “card game” played amongst Banditos. Very few outside the faction know anything about it, and only stumble upon it accidentally.
The game involves a single card, about the size of a bank card. Most will recognize it. It’s just an Old Maid card from the game of the same name.
The specifics of the rules are known only by Banditos, but the game seems to go something like this: A Bandito has the card. He or she is required to keep it in his wallet at all times. The object of the game is not to have the card, not to end up with the card, and if you should end up with the card, get rid of it as quickly as possible. A Bandito with the card is not allowed to discard it, but must keep it in his wallet.
The amount of pickpocketing that goes on amongst Banditos is well-known; keeps you sharp, keeps you on your toes. Should a Bandito pickpocket someone with the card, they must take it and keep it.
The objective is to get rid of it by getting someone else to pickpocket you. Often-times Banditos make their wallets easy to locate in an attempt to rid themselves of it. Of course, too easy, and you look suspicious…
There are more complicated rules involved in planting the card on Squares, or even Mafia or UG, but no other Faction has really figured out the specifics as of yet.
- Bandito-Only Knitting Club
They meet twice a week in an abandoned warehouse somewhere in the Square District. It’s open to anyone—provided they’re a Bandito—of any skill level. More than happy to teach new members. Nobody knows where they get the bulk of their yarn from, but at least part of it comes from cannibalized old sweaters, donated by Banditos or picked up at thrift stores.
Scarves, hats and mitts are the most common items; you’re welcome to take your creations home with you, however it’s common-courtesy to dump the majority of them in a large bin in the corner. Items tossed into this bin are distributed amongst Squares and the lower-class in general.
Basically picture a bunch of punk kids in rollerblades hanging out on mothy couches in an abandoned warehouse knitting.
The other cast members weren’t slouches either. One day, during a particularly intense confrontation between McCoy and Spock, DeForest Kelley leaned forward and kissed Leonard Nimoy on the nose. Leonard just stared at him, shocked, then realized what he had done and broke up.
But it didn’t end there. They couldn’t do a retake. Every time Leonard got close to DeForest and looked him in the eye, he broke up laughing again. And the effect was contagious. Pretty soon no one on the set could keep a straight face. Leonard and De were too conscious of their nose-to-nose position, they couldn’t stay in character long enough to do the shot. Finally, Joe Pevney, the director, gave up. They had to move to another set and pick up some other shots
The fact that wizard law enforcement found a dude’s finger and immediately closed the investigation, declared him dead, and concluded that the only possible explanation for why they only found a finger was that he was killed so hard that the rest of him was obliterated kind of speaks volumes about why nobody followed up when the genocidal serial killer just vanished.
The Ministry of Magic is fucking useless.
I like to think the aurors only became competent once the first muggle-born was inducted in, looked around, and said, “haven’t you dumb fucks ever watched CSI”.